Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Arrival As Departure: Going Home Again

“I am what I am and cannot be otherwise because of the shadows.” 
― Loren EiseleyThe Unexpected Universe

I came to my former home from my current home, along with my daughter in a journey toward a future past, the site of my son’s death, the damages caused by renters to be remediated by yours truly so Kara could begin a independent life freed from the confines of a childhood watched over by yours truly and my wife, Sue.

We found the house empty, filthy, damaged, and hermetically sealed in a sickening smell of decayed food, vomit, animal feces and all of these senses I occupy were akin to an association with death. Kara was visibly upset and overwhelmed and as a father, I found myself compelled to reset this scenario for her. The Maintenance Man.

This was to be a benchmark of a new stage in her life, one we had discussed as a family for some time as well as it being the home where Matthew had passed away in the night to be found by yours truly cold, lifeless..a corpse. Pausing for a moment on the nexus of this convergence I wondered if this gathering of a life’s work was like the encounters archeologists find themselves confronted with. Layers upon layers of dwellings, each buried and built atop one another, layered in strata that yet composed a singularity.

While repairing this damage, I stayed in my sister’s home, sleeping in what had been my mother’s bedroom on what had been her bed. In the midst of this flurry of reconstructing the past damage to that home, there was the interior reconstruction of loose and free floating suspended memories also associated with the past, as damaged and in need of repair as the physicality of broken windows, damaged appliances and soiled carpeting. One appeared to be the mirror of another in a cycle of organisation, deconstruction and inherent reconstruction as if one had occupied a station directly in the path of tornado alley.

A sort of ironic persistence in the face of lacking an exit.
As I settled into that bed for the night, I steered my mind toward the sleep of forgetting as rest in the silence of her former room, now strewn with her personal items stacked in boxes, the furniture pushed into the far corners of the room.  

During the passage of night, I found myself with a sense of arriving in a dark, crowded room of shadow figures moving within it as if I were in a bus or railway station while being afflicted with an obscured vision from a case of a proverbial glaucoma of my inner sight.
Matthew seemingly glided to face me as feelings of loss, a deeply penetrated sadness washed over me that heralded his communicated that he had a sense of never having accomplished anything worthwhile in the midst of life that could be remembered as leaving a legacy that would be remembered..I countered that this was not so, that he was an accomplishment in of himself not to be devalued by a lack of leaving material evidence of this behind. It was a highly emotional encounter. In this miasma of a scenario, all common sense I had vanished and asked if not begged for him to stay, to not leave this encounter. How foolish, how true.

Matt said that where he was had an accompaniment of like individuals who were positive in working through and assisting each other through this very issue of unfinished business as he faded back into the darkness…as I awoke in the light of early morning streaming through the windows as another passage of time would unravel itself.

I awoke and immediately disbelieved any of this had occurred in any real sense and yet the potency of the encounter in it’s essence had filled me as if I were the container of a transaction that was in of itself, a reconstruction, a path unfulfilled and yet busying itself with reinvention. Certainly an odd admixture of a continuum containing separation, closeness and lacking any definitive conclusion. Finding myself inside of this membrane of memory superimposed by the reinvention of a past narrative what came to mind several days later was once again the words of Thomas Wolfe in You Can’t Go Home Again.

“Something has spoken to me in the night...and told me that I shall die, I know not where. Saying: "[Death is] to lose the earth you know for greater knowing; to lose the life you have, for greater life; to leave the friends you loved, for greater loving; to find a land more kind than home, more large than earth.”

Thomas Wolfe, You Can't Go Home Again

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Exobiology, Non Human Species and The Human Mind

The best way to introduce this subject is by example. You are nicely and peacefully ensconced in your home along with your non human dog companion as your significant other is equally ensconced within the steel framework of an automobile approaching your home from some distance.Your dog companion leaps from the couch or floor excitedly in anticipation of your significant other's pending arrival. 
How exactly is this information sensed by your dog? Rupert Sheldrake wants to know. In his own words he places this phenomenon within the concept of a operating system we cannot directly sense that perhaps other species can he calls "morphic resonance".

"Morphic resonance is a process whereby self-organising systems inherit a memory from previous similar systems. In its most general formulation, morphic resonance means that the so-called laws of nature are more like habits. The hypothesis of mophic resonance also leads to a radically new interpretation of memory storage in the brain and of biological inheritance. Memory need not be stored in material traces inside brains, which are more like TV receivers than video recorders, tuning into influences from the past. And biological inheritance need not all be coded in the genes, or in epigenetic modifications of the genes; much of it depends on morphic resonance from previous members of the species. Thus each individual inherits a collective memory from past members of the species, and also contributes to the collective memory, affecting other members of the species in the future."

In past posts, I have written several explorations of the potentiality in the nature of non human consciousnesses, from cellular intelligence as expressed in our planets lifeforms, to Cetacean three dimensional pictographic sound images as an example of non verbal communications.
All of these posts directly have a relationship to exobiology as well as to the quantum universe of invisible parallel energy as information systems that are self organizing which then becomes an adjunct to the central question that plagues us all either indirectly or more directly in relation to our own transience.
What divides or associates the two poles of cellular intelligence as an automatism versus what we define as self awareness, or more specifically, how we interact with our environment. This brings to mind, the highly obscured yet important Cambridge Declaration On Consciousness.

Of course all of the aforementioned explorations are hampered by our own projection bias that comes from experiential assumptions. What constitutes the variegation of adapted consciousness tied to the organic relationships of planetary forms? Sustenance and expression, eating atmospheres, chemical compounds, and then also, being eaten, providing direct or indirect sustenance to other lifeforms as a self regulating living system all have an impact on the adaptation of consciousness to other worlds, planetary and otherwise.
To say the least this is a complex and fascinating matrix of contingent relationships in terms of evolution as well.
All of our self referential benchmarks as to the unknown nature of our own composition are a pitfall that Gregory Bateson spent a lifetime exploring and attempted to communicate that the right angles of human formulations to complex problems often reflect a deeply buried crib blindness which at it's most simplified expression comes out as anthropomorphism. To put this simply, our best tool to bootstrap ourselves ( not surprisingly) out of this mirror is to observe other species as best we can to determine comparative and conceptual relationships in the variegation of adaptation and forms of non human consciousness that surround us. It may be thinking outside of our own mirror to think outside of the box.

With this is mind, I highly recommend the next episode of the PBS program NOVA this coming Wednesday that explores this very issue of non human consciousness.

Perhaps out Shaman acquaintances as well as those who practice other forms of animism could rightfully say I told you so.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Preparing For Departure

“What I had to face, the very bitter lesson that everyone who wants to write has got to learn, was that a thing may in itself be the finest piece of writing one has ever done, and yet have absolutely no place in the manuscript one hopes to publish.”
― Thomas Wolfe

Here I am poised to return to Illinois along with my daughter some four or five years after Matt’s death in the same house she is to move into. This second home has now been a rental property in the ensuing years and yet that space of the house itself has been suspended in time within me. I had decided not to return there for my mother’s funeral some months ago. She had passed away about two weeks after a extended visit with us here in North Carolina and I preferred to remember her as she was as we parted company for the last time. The ghosts of suspended conversations surround me as I write this.

“The old hunger for voyages fed at his heart....To go alone...into strange cities; to meet strange people and to pass again before they could know him; to wander, like his own legend, across the earth--it seemed to him there could be no better thing than that.”
― Thomas Wolfe

The arbitrary nature of memories suddenly appear only to fade in my associations as unfinished business. Sketches of scenes from the past are animated by neurons flicker and vanish, voices in timbre and nuance make for a soundtrack. A voice says “remember me”
Here versus there and in between the past and future, theres that fourteen hour drive retracing the route of  many a past journey between Illinois and North Carolina.

There no sense of recapturing the past within me since it never left as such waves of thought are like a genetic strand of my personality that consumes, digests and processes itself as a circular dialog...filling in the gaps of conversations that are much like a path not taken, or climbing over a worn barricade through tall weeds to find a faint trace of light that illuminates my cranium.

“Some things will never change. Some things will always be the same. Lean down your ear upon the earth and listen.

The voice of forest water in the night, a woman's laughter in the dark, the clean, hard rattle of raked gravel, the cricketing stitch of midday in hot meadows, the delicate web of children's voices in bright air--these things will never change.

The glitter of sunlight on roughened water, the glory of the stars, the innocence of morning, the smell of the sea in harbors, the feathery blur and smoky buddings of young boughs, and something there that comes and goes and never can be captured, the thorn of spring, the sharp and tongueless cry--these things will always be the same.

All things belonging to the earth will never change--the leaf, the blade, the flower, the wind that cries and sleeps and wakes again, the trees whose stiff arms clash and tremble in the dark, and the dust of lovers long since buried in the earth--all things proceeding from the earth to seasons, all things that lapse and change and come again upon the earth--these things will always be the same, for they come up from the earth that never changes, they go back into the earth that lasts forever. Only the earth endures, but it endures forever.

The tarantula, the adder, and the asp will also never change. Pain and death will always be the same. But under the pavements trembling like a pulse, under the buildings trembling like a cry, under the waste of time, under the hoof of the beast above the broken bones of cities, there will be something growing like a flower, something bursting from the earth again, forever deathless, faithful, coming into life again like April.”
― Thomas Wolfe, You Can't Go Home Again

Remembering and reassembling puzzle pieces across an endless plain much like a field that waves in the wind under an endless summer sky, while standing under a spreading oak that stands alone in this prairie, taking stock. How did I get here and when do I arrive as there are no departures posted on the station wall?
The camera pulls away to reveal an ant crossing a sidewalk. There I am, a sort of dithering amoeba pulling up to some truck stop I have created for myself, getting out to stretch my legs walking through walls, floating above the stagecraft, the search of a landing zone which will absorb me as an absolution molded by a recognition, a nod of the head, a passing wave..
The Tao of packing and unpacking. What to take, what to keep? More importantly, what did I forget, and is forgetting as important as recalling what I think I need? Look away, cease and desist old man and put your foot on the gas pedal and press down, hands on the wheel.

“Perhaps this is our strange and haunting paradox here in America -- that we are fixed and certain only when we are in movement. At any rate, that is how it seemed to young George Webber, who was never so assured of his purpose as when he was going somewhere on a train. And he never had the sense of home so much as when he felt that he was going there. It was only when he got there that his homelessness began.”
― Thomas Wolfe, You Can't Go Home Again

By the time this is being read by a handfull of those I have never met, I will be in movement toward a space that remains to be defined and it will always be so despite the persistence of recalling where I have been

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Sir Robert Penrose On The Nature of Conciousness And Double Slit Optical Experiments

Some observations from Sir Robert Penrose..


The Reinvention Required In The Study of The Anomalous

One of the key points of my writing on the subject of the paranormal is that what is anomalous may not be directly observable as a distinction that is also a verifiable discernment regarding the finite nature of our own powers of observation.
Add to this discernment that the paranormal is not alien to us in the strictest sense as we recognize these events as the familiar placed in a unfamiliar context. 
The field of the study of the anomalous that includes unidentified atmospheric phenomenon, ghost encounters, presentment as precognition, possessions etc which apparently have no pragmatic usefulness to be applied to the prosaic nature of everyday living. 
One could reasonably observe that this separation is due to the nature of the questions posed from which are derived a confusing assortment of abstracted theories that operate at cross purposes that lack a nexus of focus.
The anomalous is familiar and yet exhibits behavior that is cannot be accounted for. 
This accounting is as variegated as a hybridised stereotype meaning the individual (s) who exponentially inhabit the same space as these observations have a finite capability to steer the outcome of what is in essence an effect, which has no volition of it’s own.
Imaging and imagination as the verb of consciousness is more of a mirror than a root source of the phenomenon that is also the mirror of a waking state, which is a dreaming state.
We divide these two states from one another and yet both exhibit each others attributes, and this is what lies behind our own defining of ourselves as being conscious.
Add this discernment to our interpretation of the physicality of our environment that provides a false image of solidity rather than the reality that it is a spectrum of energy keyed as information that becomes referential.
However the study of the paranormal is not one that can be button holed as solipsism, meaning that the mind has a unique and isolated nature whereas the environment is discounted as imaginary. 
This poses a conundrum of epistemology that while the mind and it's environment cannot be separated as a clear divide, the environment at times has a strange and unaccounted for malleability that seemingly originates between the two.
Yet perhaps the role of solipsism is reversed when the terms of the questions we ask become inadvertent key characteristics of what is incommensurable to any known relationship. What exactly is a Demon, a UFO, a Sasquatch other than incommensurable references?
Imaginary language.
As an example take the term, Unidentified Flying Object. The operand word of "object" that is utilised despite the fact that it's critically assumed physicality as an object as we define a solid object that is used as a metric has led nowhere for decades. 
Whether it is Roswell, Socorro, or any other event you chose to use as an example
If we add the entire body of evidence such that it is, without picking and choosing examples, we have an inexplicable variegation of reported "craft types" that are are patently transient, depending on the differentiation found in individual observers and \ or the equally transient imagery borrowed from cultural consensus based on shared anticipation. Add to this the "averaged" stereotypical "craft" has historically changed from decade to decade, century to century which makes it reasonably probable that if all the witnesses were not lying, then we have observer variegation based upon the nature of unknown relationships between the observer and the observed.
Another discernment may be the term of self awareness may be another form of circular logic whereas the locus of our attention may not be divisible as to observe itself while in the act of observing.
One could say that a great deal of what we define as being conscious is the differentiation of autosuggestion. 
Another way to say the same thing is to say our environment suggests to us that triggers the inferences stored as associative transients, that are self referential and self organizing without much interference from the possibility of divided attention.
If any of the foregoing has validity then we must ask a fundamental question. Why has the study of the nature of consciousness been separated from the study of the paranormal?
In effect, the field of the paranormal has divided the inseparable.

This may be the missing context we require as a more holistic and realistic approach to the confusion that results from dividing the observer from the observed.
The greatest and most profound anomaly there is comes from the anomalous nature in the origin of consciousness itself and yet in a equally profound manner, this question has been separated from our own observations on the subject of the paranormal.
You could say reasonably that the positivism of the skeptic is matched by that of those in the paranormal field by the use of terms that have no defining or repeatable, demonstrable connection to anything other than self referential identifiers.
This could be the underlying nexus that has resulted in a merry go round of entropy regarding results versus the false nature of the debates themselves.
The entire paranormal field utilizes an imaginary language while the skeptic insists that everything under the sun is observable in terms of physicality. Is it any wonder that after being involved in tis field, many become weary, disillusioned, or lunatic?
In brief, the study of consciousness cannot be separated from the study of the paranormal.
For readers who are interested in the scientific studies and research experimentation regarding the study of the strange nature of consciousness as a series of inexplicable anomalies, two of many such examples are found here:

Monday, March 24, 2014

Another Analysis of Effects From Ongoing Climatic Changes

An update to the post "Mother Nature Land"...that adds additional information to the NASA report I had posted which suggested a tipping point within fifteen years. The media silence regarding these reports is both astonishing and yet all too familiar. One can only imagine the consequences to third world nations.

What personally adds a dash of paranormality to my view of these events is the extraordinarily vivid dream I had nearly a decade ago that was recounted at my former blog regarding catastrophic environmental effects that were, at that time less defined as in the above and former reports I have posted.
I found myself on a coast of this country during the night as large bonfires were burning amid the rubble of homes that faced the ocean and then I was transported to what was a tent city that had corporate banners flapping above the lines of a wide variety of folks lined up at tables. I asked a woman who was standing next to me what this was all about. This was not charity, it was "emergency employment" so to speak..the recruitment of victims to be employed elsewhere away from the devastation. To say the least, her opinion of this activity was far from favorable. My own view alongside her was the sense I was in a internment camp and I was agitated as well in the midst of this activity. A majority of those I saw were like ghosts having the stuffing knocked out of them. Listless is an apt description of how they appeared.
The experience wherever and whatever, was disturbing as this sense followed me on awakening.
Unsettling is a good description of the result as I was wrapped in it and remained so for several days...What the hell was that?
I honestly hope like Scrooge that this vivid dream was a bit of undigested beef and nothing more rather than a strange presentment.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

In Praise of Joyce Collin-Smith

Miss Marple of The Occult

“It is still not enough for language to have clarity and content…it must also have a goal and an imperative. Otherwise from language we descend to chatter, from chatter to babble, and from babble to confusion.” 
― RenĂ© Daumal

In the years of scouring, sorting and rummaging through this life for any clue as to what any of this was all about, I have encountered many a interesting and fascinating individual, who have impressed me with their keenness of intellect as well as sincerity.
Joyce Collin-Smith was a professional journalist who had the knack of maintaining a sense of sharing with her readers what she had encountered without selling anything in particular, unlike most... who have misbegotten core of evangelism. This review of one of her books sums up my admiration for her accomplishments....

"For reasons that I am not quite sure of I nicknamed Joyce Collin-Smith to 'Miss Marple of the Occult'. Perhaps it was because, like Agatha Christie's famous figure, she has got on in her years, but has retained a very sharp wit. Or perhaps even more because she is very much to the point in a similar kind and gentle, but firm, fashion. Or was it because she has found out things that many others, in spite of hearing from them, have not really discovered?
The Pathless Land is written in an 'unobtrusive' way. One of my first impressions was that Joyce Collin-Smith is not selling me any of the ideas she is writing about. She says it herself by asking the reader to test her knowledge and not to believe. This approach had an interesting effect on my reading of the book - I started to make discoveries myself!
The book is full of the writer's own discoveries, which she openly wants to share with the reader - as her friend - and she has a lot to share. Joyce Collin-Smith's search with the questions 'who am I?', 'what am I supposed to be doing?' and 'what do I want?', which she writes in the first paragraph of Chapter One, led her into contact with many teachers of the way. She got deeply involved with the different teachings, and when she had learned what was taught, she managed to get out of the teacher-pupil situation and was able to go on her journey in the 'pathless land', where no other man than each of us in ourselves is the master.

Her online book 'Call No Man Master' was an autobiographic book. 'The Pathless Land' contains the results of a lifetime's search for truth.

It is a beautiful book!

Reijo Elsner, Denmark"

Another thread in this weave that coincides with any journey is the precarious balance it requires to avoid self deception, depression or in extreme cases I am aware of, the danger of a certain madness where one loses the ability to discern fairy tales from self verification.
For yours truly keeping any sense of discernment can be challenging for what few brain cells I possess.
If there's any sincerity involved there is always hope poised against despair
One thinks of Daumal's "Mount Analogue"..Mountain climbing without a rope.

“A knife is neither true nor false, but anyone impaled on its blade is in error.” 
― RenĂ© DaumalMount Analogue

All of this for myself began many years ago when I sent a hand written letter to Mrs Thomas DeHartman in New York after reading their account of travelling over the Caucasus Mountains in the midst of the Russian Revolution with Mr Gurdjieff. That is a story in of itself.

Eventually, I came around to reading Rodney Collin's "The Theory of Celestial Influence", which in turn led me to Joyce, who wrote an account of her brother's quests and his strange death in "Beloved Icarus" as well as reading "Call No Man Master", regarding her own scouring for knowledge.

She was and is a remarkable woman. I thought some might enjoy being acquainted with her work. I suggest reading her account of the suicide of James Webb which illustrates the dangers of losing one's way in all this.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Mother Nature Land

"Then I heard what sounded like a voice among the four living creatures, saying, "Two pounds of wheat for a day's wages, and six pounds of barley for a day's wages, and do not damage the oil and the wine......."

The Movement of Thought As A Parameter of Spacetime

Why bother? How do we define peace? .....Perhaps it's not a matter of swimming upstream but rather paddling furiously to remain still while ruminating upon the human situation of human nature and the nature of our environment. All the while, the mechanical clock of the historical world is ticking. The spacetime of an individual as measured by thought has no hands and yet I ask, how are we counting?

The deterioration of the human atmosphere in which we reside or the atmosphere we breathe? While this post is focused upon a potent talk regarding nature by Krishnamurti, other voices whisper in the corridor. Rodney Collin on spacetime that equates to the permeability of thought as energy matrix by information and then there is Rene Daumal who wears this skin of light and yet sees a void to be filled. Or, Noam Chompsky regarding the hungry ghost of media as well as Artaud seeking to deconstruct it as a an act of murdering false consent. All of this in the hope of renewal while the technocrats brattle on about an imagined Singularity where man becomes a synthetic machine, and then we have the consideration that this nexus may be, in reality, a perfect storm as predicted by NASA whose sobering report glided away under the radar of consumers.

In a previous post the gifted artist Miyazaki drew a healthy round of laughter when he said he kept hoping for an a definitive demarcation of renewal on several fronts.

What we have here is a variety of crosshairs all focused upon the effects of thought as an energy as a tool as surely as a lever and as enigmatic as a rune. Where are we pointing our targeting apparatus? For the historical world, it seems nowhere in particular but for us, time is counted.

By our mechanical clock, the corner will be irrevocably turned in around fifteen years. This I write on a perfectly pleasant day, filled with sunlight as it is, the birds sing, the cars roam on errands, the clouds glide above me. All of this does not require my participation. Like Ivan Ososkin in Ouspensky's novel, I stand on the edge of a beach measured by the velocity of thought while viewing an ocean rolling and breaking in waves through the historical world...unnoticed by the fish.

There is no anti-ocean for them to consider as a tool to interpenetrate the boulder of effect rolling away from them. I sigh..if it were only such a simple matter to remove oneself from oneself...yet the crosshairs remain to examine a trajectory.

In reading Krishnamurti's personal journals I was struck by the depth of impact his brother's death had upon him as an impetus to muster a inner courage in seeking a verifiable nature of that nebulous word "truth" ..a ten cent word that whose velocity of discount has probably reached a fraction of a penny.

An impetus to begin that search by Krishnamurti guarantees that no one will be pinning medals on him for at a White House ceremonious ritual attended by the press as their patriotic duty. .The counter to this asks if this quest is fermented in some opaque yearning that dissolves earnest questioning into a balm of bliss? I think not. This talk ( as reprinted below) by the one and the same Krishnamurti concisely summarizes the challenges of balance and falls into line with many of my own ruminations on these subjects and perhaps yours as well.

Your experiences triangulating the questions that Nature foments with the fertilizer ( human and otherwise ) required to produce a advantageous bloom, either food for thought or a trip in and out of a garbage pail is a payment. Sometimes it can be both a matter of recycling as well as simply taking out the trash

It was advised a long time ago its a good idea to not spill the wine, or if you will more succinctly..destroy the sacraments of nature while selling it regardless of corporate profit, whether it's a dime or counted in the billions.

So much for advice, which seems to be given with a dash of Biblical fatalism that would be the envy of Malthusian Theory, that in turn becomes a prophetic warning that is slowly seeping into consciousness. Call this a leak in the facade the West has promulgated as self congratulatory rationalizations as the water level rises. In the midst of this, we take a well deserved pause as this parade rolls by, presumably downhill toward an entropy as autonomic as the set pieces of commercialism that the programming is meant to vouchsafe.

“I would like to write a Book which would drive men mad, which would be like an open door leading them where they would never have consented to go, in short, a door that opens onto reality.” 
― Antonin ArtaudSelected Writings

In all this scuttling through our own atmosphere so to speak, as contaminated as it is , there remains a mystery irregardless of which way the coin falls in terms of two juxtaposed theories of evolution. One is autonomic, the other requires an effort. Within this ying and yang, there is the the dialog of spacetime as measured by thought as perhaps in the excerpt below from Rodney Collin, who in "The Theory of Celestial Influence" considered another form of environment as a medium for all of the foregoing matters:

"An approximate image of man's temporal background might be conveyed by a clock face on which month, hour, minute and second hands were simultaneously revolving,' he wrote. 'But to make this image more correct, it would be necessary to imagine some of the hands gaining in speed, others losing, and some even revolving anti-clockwise. If the second hand now imagined that the circumference of the face was an infinite straight line, measurable only in one direction at one speed, and divided into equal points which had one fixed meaning for all the hands, this would to a certain degree represent man's normal perception and illusions concerning the nature of time…

The penetration into other times which is connected with the creation of consciousness in functions which are now unconscious or inoperative has a double effect. As a result of the expansive and pervasive powers of matter in faster states, awareness of their times brings with it a certain awareness of the world from which they derive.
Penetration into the sub-human world of cells creates awareness of the superhuman rhythms of Nature; into the time of molecules, awareness of terrestrial time; while further penetration into electronic time implies a similar awakening to solar time. Thus the passage of consciousness to each higher function brings man to knowledge of two new worlds-one smaller and one larger. It is the cellular body whose time begins with conception and ends with death. But the molecular matter of which the ovum is composed and into which the corpse disintegrates, does not die, nor does its time come to an end. From man's point of view, molecular and electronic time not only exist within his physical body, but also after it and before it. Thus molecular and electronic time, with all they imply, must be closely connected with the problem of states after death and before birth.'

 Then there is the odd case of Krishnamurti who walked away from being handed a kingdom, the man who said the truth is a pathless land in defiance of the barricades and detours of the intellect which attempts to triangulate spacetime into a glossary whose references are a map whose intent is for the reader to walk in circles......safely.

The man with whom I share a love of nature with wherein a walk through a forest or I dare say under a clear night sky offers a solace from the circus of poor architectures, circular argumentative postures and just simple bullshit which has become in our society, a learned behavior.

The Conquest of The Useless

The compliment of lies so deeply buried, a press conference is a Fantasia of a layer cake whose layered self loathings soar above us while the smell of corpses are perfumed as much as the perfumed scorpion perched on our shoulders.

“One thing about which fish know exactly nothing is water, since they have no anti-environment which would enable them to perceive the element they live in.” 
― Marshall McLuhanWar and Peace in the Global Village

An award for killing another rather than being killed. Selling or be sold. And \ or humanity as a divisible commodity traded on a stock exchange..these are as Morrison said, are "strange scenes in a gold mine." The puppetry of the routine where the crap cannot be excised. All the while time is counted in regard to what Gurdjieff called "the terror of the situation." I would only add that this terror is shouted down by lunacy masked as consensus.

“All over the place, from the popular culture to the propaganda system, there is constant pressure to make people feel that they are helpless, that the only role they can have is to ratify decisions and to consume.” 
― Noam Chomsky

Cubing the squared, and the movement of thought as spacetime. To unravel an onion, to question the validity of one's questions in the face of the vested interest and bias we bring to defining the inexpressible without taking the time to see the ground we stand on in the increasing velocity of instant messages, Facebook and twittering banalities to fill the void, Herzog termed this "the conquest of the useless".

On Not Going Through The Motions

What Gurdjieff termed "being responsible duty" comes to mind which struck me so deeply as a young man, to be sincere, to place oneself in the path of exposure as Daumal so beautifully articulated the forensics of seeing oneself as you are, not as you imagine oneself to be. This talk is more pertinent than it was in 1975 which to me says a great deal about the urgency of it's message which is akin to a question more so than an answer. Death surrounds us.

In the last post I related being on a mountainside in Montana on a clear might warmed by such a thing as simple as a campfire and it became a matter of clarity under the dome of living light from stars, just how minuscule any framework or architecture I could muster poised upon this profound mystery, was. Call it a reminder, an alarm clock as it so easy to lose my sincerity for the sake of convenience seems to be a silent disease with no repercussions, a buffer for a fool's shopping list. There's no kicking that can down the road. No amount of play acting will suffice or fairy stories or words fit the maw of what we face when we are alone with ourselves. These days I wonder if there is a sort of fear that surrounds us..regarding being alone with oneself as the mountain of chattering conflicting rhetoric reaches "biblical proportions" ...and so I share this with you and welcome your thoughts.

On Nature and the Environment

J. Krishnamurt

First Public Talk in Saanen

July 1975

"I suppose one must talk. There are not only personal problems, and the world in which we live is becoming more and more dangerous for all living things. And it seems to me that very few of us are able to meet the challenge completely and totally, and during these talks here we are going, if we can, in detail into the many problems. These problems are not separate, they are interrelated; if one wishes to solve one's own personal problems apart from the problem of existence as a whole, I am afraid we shall not be able to find the correct answer.

So we must, if we may, consider the whole structure of our society and civilisation in which we live. We are not only concerned with the economic, social problems, political, as well as all the problems that we have to face every day: livelihood, the enormous amount of suffering that's going on in the world, the deterioration of human morality, his behaviour, the problems of fear, pleasure and the very complex problem of not only individual suffering, but the suffering of humanity.

And then there is the problem of death, love and if there is any truth or all the realities we have to face are so enormous that we have neither the time, the inclination or the energy to find out for ourselves if there is, or if there is not, a truth which when grasped or understood or related that truth will perhaps absolve all our problems. This is what we are going to talk over together during these three or four weeks. So it is not a diversion, an entertainment, something that you listen to for an hour and forget all about it afterwards, but it is something that we have to consider very seriously, give our minds and heart to understand the extraordinary complex problem of our existence.

I do not know how serious you are, or how curious you are, with what intention you come and listen to these talks; if these talks have any relationship to your life, to your daily existence or you are merely seeking something that is pleasurable for an hour or entertaining intellectually and then go away without actually understanding what is being said and related to our daily life. So in communicating with each other, that is, not only verbally, and also there is non-verbal communication which demands a great deal of earnestness, a great deal of not only intellectual capacity; that is, to be awake and to find out for ourselves what is true and what is false. And so on a lovely morning we have to spend, not only the understanding of words, because each will interpret a meaning or give a meaning to the word, but we have to meet each other at a level that is serious, that demands your attention, your care, your affection.

And so, at the first talk or the first gathering of this meeting, we have to look into this question, why man, human being has not changed at all. Why he lives in a society so corrupt, so utterly meaningless, why he allows himself to be dominated by the politicians all over the world, a world that is becoming more and more authoritarian, totalitarian, neo-Communist, Fascist, or the old pattern of Communism. Why we allow ourselves to perpetuate wars, why we allow ourselves to live an isolated life in a territory divided against other territories, into nationalities and the constant struggle of livelihood, instability, insecurity and the threat that is becoming more and more violent right through the world. I think most of us realise this - at least if you have given some thought, if you are aware of the world events, most of us are concerned, at least those who are really serious, and we wonder what can be done. Either we can escape from all that into some neurotic, imaginative area and cultivate that area through various communes, utopian ideals and so on, or come to it with various conclusions: the Capitalist, the Communist, the neo-Communism, Fascism or Socialism, or come to it with certain strong beliefs - God or no God, personal salvation, personal enjoyment, being concerned only with ourselves and with nothing else, or we can come to it, that is, the world as it is with all the misery, the conflict, the suffering, the inequality, the injustice, the perpetual threat of war - one power against the other and so on. We can come to all that with a totally different kind of energy. And this morning, if I may, I would like to talk about that.

We need a totally different kind of energy to comprehend. The word 'comprehend' means to take hold totally, comprehend this vast thing that we call living, come to it with a quality of energy that will not only understand it - act upon it and go beyond it.

So this morning, if I can, I'd like to go into this question of meeting this enormous complex thing called living, existence, with an energy that is whole, non-fragmented, not broken up. And to find that energy, to come upon that energy, that is the problem. Is this fairly clear? We have exercised a great deal of energy to create this society, we have exercised a great deal of thought to bring about a religious order which is disorder, a discipline that has become mechanical, an energy which has produced an extraordinary technological advancement, an energy created by thought that has fragmented the world. So we first have to look at that energy - the energy that thought has created. Right?

If one observes intellectually as well as non-intellectually, not sentimentally, not romantically, not imaginatively but actually - the word 'actual' means, what is actual, what is taking place now. Thought has created this society, this culture, this religion whether it is Christianity, Hinduism or any other form of religion. Thought has been responsible for this. I do not think anybody will disagree with that. And thought in its activity, in its movement has created the energy of reality. Right?

One has to differentiate between reality and truth. And that's what we are going to do. I hope you understand all this. Personally one has spent a great deal of time about this matter; not only has one gone through this with various scientists and psychotherapists, analysts, to find out if there is an energy which is not the energy of thought, because the energy of thought, being in itself fragmentary, because thought is fragmentary, must inevitably create a structure - social, economic, religious - essentially fragmentary. So that which thought has created, which thought has brought about, which thought has manipulated, structured, is the world of reality. Please, one must understand this. Whatever you do is based on thought, whatever you imagine, whatever you work for, whatever you try to bring about - a change in yourself or in the outer world - is essentially the energy of the movement of thought.

And that movement of thought has created tremendous problems which is obvious both in the world of religion, in the world of economics, in the world of social relationship. And we are trying to solve our problems, our human problems - not technological problems - our human problems in the area, or in the field which thought has created, in the field of reality. Are we meeting each other?

We have got religious problems - whether there is God or no God, whether Christianity is superior to other religions, whether there is the only Saviour and there is no other - you know. The paraphernalia of rituals, dogmatism, superstition - all that is the work of thought. And in the world of economics it is the same, and in our social relationship with each other the movement of thought, being in itself fragmentary, has isolated each one of us into a self-centred human being - his success, his stability and so on. That is the field of thought which is the reality. And we are trying to find all our solutions in that field through the exercise of thought. This is clear. We say: separate religions destroy man, obviously. And this separation has come about through thought: thought trying to find security in a world in which there is no security, in a world it has projected as heaven - this is all the movement of thought. And economically each country is trying to solve its own problem unrelated to the rest of the world. Again the operation of isolation which has been brought about through the fragmentation of thought. This is obvious. And in our human relationship, if you observe, thought first of all creates, because it is fragmentary the self-centred movement as the 'me' and the importance of the 'me'. Right? This is the movement of thought which has created extraordinary problems and in that area we are trying to solve our problems. Clear? Is this somewhat clear? Please don't let me talk to myself.

And we say, the speaker says: you will not be able to solve any of your problems in that area, in the area of reality which thought has created. And the speaker says, you must find a totally different kind of energy which is not the energy of conflict, of separateness, of division, the energy of the movement of thought.

Are we communicating with each other? Please, this is dreadfully serious, if I am not explaining clearly, stop me. Because I'll go into it... So if you don't understand me, stop me because I am dreadfully serious about this. Please listen, listen, because it is a very complex thing that we are going into. Because all our life is shaped by thought. And thought, which is time, which is measure, and its movement is always limited. Right? Thought can imagine that there is truth, that there is something beyond itself and project from its limitedness something extensive, not limited at all. But it is still the movement of thought. Right? I can imagine that there is a heaven, that there will be a perfect society, I can imagine or project from my despair, from my loneliness, from my sorrow, from my anxiety, from my grief, from my struggle, a heaven, a God in which there is complete security, complete certainty, no suffering - but it is still the movement of thought.

So thought is the response of memory as experience and knowledge, so we are always operating in the field of knowledge. Right? Oh, come on! And knowledge has not changed man. We have had thousands of wars, millions of human beings have suffered, cried, and we still carry on! The knowledge of war has not taught us anything, except how to kill better, on a vaster scale. Knowledge has not changed man; we accept division into nationalities, we accept that division though it will inevitably bring about conflict with each other, we have accepted the injustice, the cruelty which thought has brought about through knowledge. We are destroying species of animals. Fifty million whales have been killed from the beginning of this century. Everything man touches brings about destruction. So knowledge which is the response of memory... thought which is the response of memory, experience, knowledge has not changed man, though it has created an extraordinary technological world.

So the problem then is: what will change man? You have understood? If you say: knowledge can change man - you have to be actual, not theoretical. That is, the actuality of change through knowledge as an instrument which will bring about a different human behaviour, radically. Radically not superficially, not certain peripheral action on the outside. We are talking about the radical change of man through knowledge. And if you observe, that knowledge has not radically, basically fundamentally brought about a revolution, psychological revolution in man. He may be a little more kind, a little more clever, a little more tolerant, a little more this or that - but fundamentally he has not changed. He is still greedy, envious, competitive, aggressive, violent, suffering endlessly. So if knowledge has not changed man, then what will? You understand the question?

Look, this is not a thing that you are going to understand in a couple of minutes however clearly, objectively it is put. We have to have the capacity to investigate, not just to accept words. Words are meaningless. So you have to give your mind, your capacity, your energy to find out. We say: the world of reality is the movement of thought and all the things that thought has created - the Gurus with their system, with their meditation, with their systems, with their philosophies are all the activity of thought and through thought there is no solution. It is not how to stop thought, but to find out if there is an energy which is not the energy of thought. Right?

So what is the relationship - please listen to this - what is the relationship between reality - you understand what I mean by reality - that is, the reality which thought has brought about, the reality which thought has created, the actual. The actual being, not only what is rational, sane, but also what is irrational, what is insane - both are realities. The man who believes in God or in a perfect state or something or other, he has thought it out, projected, come to a conclusion however irrational, however neurotic, it is a reality, as well as the man who thinks clearly, rationally and acts according to that rationality - is a reality. Both are realities - the irrational, the neurotic, the insane, the crooked as well as the man who acts according to a pattern, a rational pattern. Both are realities - the neurotic and the non-neurotic, because they are both brought about by the movement of thought as time, as measure. I wonder if you understand all this? This is the world you live in, we live in. And out of this world we create a different world, a different philosophy, born out of this world. Out of the world of reality we create a world of thought which is called philosophical, intellectual, godly, spiritual and all the rest of it. Right?

So then I ask myself, as you must too, if thought is not going to resolve fundamentally our problem, then what will? You understand this question? Not theoretically, not as an idea, something put forward to you and you accept it and say, 'Yes!' But something that you yourself actually see, of which you are aware.

So the problem is: are you aware the movement of thought as time, as measure and all the things thought has created, the real and the unreal? Are you aware of this? Or, are you aware - please listen - are you aware of the description which the speaker has given? You understand? Aware of the description, aware of the words but not the actuality of this reality of thought. Right? Which is it? Please, this has to be clearly, definitely understood before we go any further, because then it is a waste of time. Am I aware of the reality of all the movement of thought - what it has created in the field of technology, what it has brought about in the psychological field and in the so-called spiritual field? Am I aware of the actual, or of the picture? You understand? Have you understood what I'm - I hope I am making myself clear. Am I aware of the description or the described? Am I aware of the word or the thing which the word represents? Because the word, the description, is not the thing. So which is it I am aware of? If I am aware of the word, the description, then it becomes terribly superficial. It has no meaning. But if I am aware, not of the description, not of the word, but the actual thing, the actuality, then my relationship to it is entirely different. You follow this?

So which is it I am honestly, seriously aware of - the word or the thing? The word 'door' is not the door. The explanation is not the explained. So, am I aware of the door or of the word? If I am aware of the real, the actual, then what is my relationship to the actual? You understand my question? Are you really serious about all this? Or are you just playing with me or with words? On a Sunday morning you have nothing else to do and so you go and listen to that poor chap and perhaps he will tell you how to live, which I am afraid - [dogs barking] So don't let's play games! I don't want to play games with you, so please, equally have the respect not to play games with me. The word 'respect' means, to look again. You understand? To look again. When you don't look that is disrespect, when you casually listen and go away, that is disrespect. But if you have respect, then you listen, you try to find out, and it is a mutual respect. I want to tell you something, if you are not interested don't bother. And if you are interested give that respect, which is to look again, consider again, watch again.

So what is it that you are aware of? The conclusion, the abstraction or the actual? If I am aware of the actual - not the description, not the word, the word may help me to understand the actual, but the perception of the actual is entirely different from the understanding through the word. Have you understood this? Right, sir? Thank god, somebody does! So I am aware of the movement of thought and all the things that it has created - both irrational and rational, insane, idiotic, superstitious, destructive and thought that has put together various things. I am aware of it. Then what is my relationship in that awareness to that thing which I have seen as actual? You understand the problem?

Is this getting too much? I'll repeat it again. I am aware of the actual, not of the abstraction or the conclusion - that has no reality. What has reality is what actually is. Right? Which is: I am aware of the whole movement of thought - technologically, personally, collectively, in the field of economics, religion, in relationship with each other. That is the actual reality. I am aware of that. Now in that awareness is there a division between me and the thing which I observe? You understand this?

I want to find out when I am actually aware of the movement of thought, is that thought different from the observer, or the observer is itself the thought? Because if this is not clear, I will live everlastingly in conflict which is the movement of thought again, isn't it? I wonder if you see this? See, is the thinker different from the thought? Is the entity who is aware of the actual - the actual being that which thought has created, neurotic as well as non-neurotic - is that different from the man who is observing it, or, the division is non-existent and therefore the observer is the observed, the thinker is the thought and therefore division ceases. Therefore I am aware totally, there is a total awareness. Not, I am aware of something. Is this clear?

Questioner: No!

K: Let me explain. All right, I am glad. I observe the mountain. I am aware of the mountain, the beauty, the majesty, the extraordinary line against the blue sky, the beauty of that thing. Is the observer different from the observed - the mountain? Obviously he is. He is not the mountain. That is clear, isn't it? If he was the mountain he would be rather strange, he would be fit for an asylum. That's one point. I observe you. Is the observer different from you? Obviously. You are taller, shorter, clever, more beautiful, more intelligent, more awake, capable of deep investigation and therefore you are different from me who is not bright, who is not clear. That's an actuality. You are different. Am I different through comparison? Please listen to all this, don't jump at one or two words, go into it. Am I different because I compare myself with you who are this and that and that - therefore I am different, through comparison am I different? You are taller, I am shorter, you are fair-skinned, I am not, you are bright, you are suffering, all the rest of it. So by comparing myself with you I become stupid - I am less clever than you, which is the movement of thought as measurement. You understand this? Therefore am I dull if there is no comparison? I may be something entirely different - but I am dull only in comparing myself with you. So I am not you - but is my thinking, my desire, my anger, my suffering different from me who is observing, who is looking? You follow the point? Obviously not. So I am anger, so I am jealous, I am envious - not I am something which is called envy. I am that! So the observer divides himself from the observed, psychologically, not outside, not mountain, you and the tree - all that. Psychologically thought has divided itself as the thinker and the thought. He has divided himself because that is part of the tradition, part of education, part of his conditioning to always divide himself, and you as something separate from me.

So I realise, there is a realisation in this total awareness that the thinker is the thought and therefore what takes place? You understand my question? Before, I separated myself from anger and I did something about that anger - controlled it, rationalised it, say, 'Why shouldn't I be angry?', 'It is immoral to be angry, I must control it, I must overcome it, must suppress it' - I did something about it, because it was separate from me. Please, understand this, move with me - not verbally but actually. And when there is the realisation there is no separateness from anger, from myself, then the energy is totally different. You understand? Before, I dissipated energy - there is the dissipation of energy in division. Now, when there is complete awareness of anger and no division as the 'me' being angry then there is an energy which dissipates anger. You've got this? Please, get this!

So there is no struggle, no conflict. There is conflict between the Arab and the Jew or the Communist - you follow? - because they are divided. And if there is no division there is no conflict. But human beings won't accept that, because they are being trained, educated to call themselves Arabs and Israelis and Communists, you know - Christian, non-Christian, you and I - and all the rest of it.

So from this arises the question: if thought is not capable of resolving the problems which thought has created, which is, knowledge cannot change man - right? - as it has been proved. Knowledge being the whole movement of thought as time and measure - as that cannot change man, what will? Right? Now what is your position - not my position, not my description. How do you stand in relation to that? If you are completely aware and have given your attention to the problem that thought cannot solve our problems - not theoretically, actually - then what will you do? Just a minute, let me... What is your action? What is your... what will you do with it? Go off to a Yogi, run off to a monastery, form a Utopia, a Commune, become a monk, join some Order? If you do none of these things which are all movements of thought, then what will you do? Wait, let the fruit ripen! You have never faced this problem, therefore let the problem mature in your mind. Not take time - actually look at it, therefore give your attention to it.

Now, there is a difference between awareness and attention. May I go on? In attention there is no border, there is no centre from which you are aware, from which you are attentive. I do not know if you have not noticed. I'll show it to you.

You are listening now, aren't you? I hope so. That is, listening means the art of listening. The art of listening is to put everything in its right place. The word 'art' means that - to put everything where it belongs. Now if you are listening, if you are listening from a conclusion, from a centre, from an opinion, from a prejudice, from previous knowledge, from a centre that is comparing what you already know, then you are not listening. Whereas if you are listening attentively there is no centre from which you are listening, therefore there is complete attention. Right? And there is much more beyond attention, which we won't go into now, for the moment. So if you are completely attentive, have given your total attention to the problem of the thought as knowledge and try to change through knowledge and you totally realise that there can be no radical transformation of man through knowledge, then you have a totally different question you can put, which I am going to put presently. I am totally aware that thought has created extraordinary things - the beauty of the drawings of an architect, the beauty of the silver-smith, the beauty of a picture - the thing hands created by thought. And also thought has created the atomic bomb, the marvellous machinery to kill others on a vast extensive scale. And also see thought has divided man against man - not as an idea but as an actuality, in my blood. Also see when I am completely attentive that thought in comparing myself with you - I am less or I am more - and so can thought be without measurement, or thought is endlessly measuring? Or am I attentive to the... in that attention there is no division between me and the response: I am that response. So I am totally completely aware of the irrationality of thought and the rationality of thought and the reality of both. So I am totally aware, attentive to reality, to that field I call reality in which all of us live and try to solve our problems, from the highest politician to the highest orthodox organised religious leader - the Communist, the Socialist - everybody is in that - the artist and the non-artist, the layman and so on.

So realising that, seeing completely that, then what will change man, what will change me? - radically, most profoundly, so that I am something entirely different - not the difference which thought has projected. I must find out - not 'find out' - I see reality, then what is truth? You understand? If I live entirely in reality, then there is no truth. I wonder if you understand? But if I realise the whole movement of reality, which is thought, then I must inevitably ask, 'What is truth?' Is there a truth? You understand? We say truth is something that is totally unrelated to thought - please this is... don't accept this most dangerous thing what I am saying to you. This is what man has always said: 'God is truth'. But his truth is the invention of thought, his God is the invention of thought. We are saying quite a different thing altogether. Unless you realise completely the total movement of thought and its activity, its creativeness, its rationality and irrationality - which is still reality - see the whole of that, then only you can ask the question: what is truth? But to ask, living in that, 'What is truth?' - you can invent it. You have got this?

Q: (Inaudible)

K: No, no, no sir, you have misunderstood altogether. I have said: am I totally aware of the movement of thought as knowledge and its activity, what it has created - all the mischief - totally aware of that?

Q: (Inaudible)

K: Please, wait, listen to it. Don't let me go back to something I have repeated ten times. I said: if I am living in the world of reality psychologically, knowing the irrationality of thought and rationality of thought - both are realities, then only I say I can ask the question: is there something beyond the limit of this? I cannot ask that question if I have not understood that - then I can invent it. Then what I think will be truth, God or whatever you like to call it, will be neurotic, irrational. And all our Gods, all our churches are irrational.

That being so, then I say to myself: What is truth? Is there such thing at all? I know what is the reality, the complexity of reality in which I have to act - not just talk about it. I have to live there, rationally, sanely, wholly, with order and so on, so on, so on. All that has nothing to do, or may have to do, with truth. So I have to find out. To find out there must be no projection of thought. So thought realises its limitation. When you realise you cannot do something, it is finished. I cannot physically go to the moon. I may imagine that I can go to the moon.

So when the mind realises the limitation, the narrowness, the finiteness of thought, then only it can ask the question: what is truth? Is this clear? I do not accept truth given by philosophers - that's their game. Philosophy means love of truth, not love of thought. So there is no authority - Plato, Socrates, Buddha, but Christianity has not gone into that very deeply. They have played with words and symbols, made a parody of suffering and all the rest of it. So the mind rejects all that, because that is all in the field of reality. Therefore my mind is clear: the limitations of reality, the operations and the movement in the field of that reality as thought. Right?

Then, what is truth? Has it any relationship with reality? Please this is... don't agree or disagree, you have got to sweat your blood into this thing, you've got to give your heart to this, not just accept some silly thing. You have to have the capacity to investigate, not the capacity which time cultivates, like learning a technique; but this capacity comes when you are really, deeply concerned, when it is a matter of life and death - you understand? - to find out. Then one can ask: is there any relationship between reality and truth? If there is no relationship between truth and reality then what value has truth? Value! That is: how can truth be used in the field of reality? Listen to the words, because our mind says: what is the good of something if I can't use it? Our minds are trained to be - what? - to be utilitarian, to be... to work in the field, in market places. If truth cannot have any value in the field of reality, it is not truth. Therefore we are always concerned with the utilitarian use of truth in that field: because I suffer, if truth can't help me, what's the good of truth?

So I must understand clearly that suffering, pleasure, fear and all that is in the world of reality as thought - my suffering, my fears, everything there. Therefore truth has no relationship to reality. No relationship! I can only say that with complete sincerity, complete authenticity, when I have understood totally the reality. I wonder if I have made this clear? Therefore...

Q: What is not clear is what you mean by truth.

K: I don't know what I mean by truth. I know exactly what reality is. When the mind has clearly seen that and is no longer caught in that, then I can find out. Wait, wait. So I must go back to reality. I must understand suffering - you understand, sir? - I must go beyond suffering. The mind must go beyond fear and understand the whole movement of pleasure, the thing called love in the field of reality, the thing called death, and what is meditation, is that in the field of reality? Or the understanding of reality and moving away from that is meditation? I must go into all this till I have completely understood this, lived it, not just talked about it - then only can I find out. Then I can say: truth is no relationship to reality. Then truth has its own energy which is going to transform reality, which is my conditioning, which is my psychological fundamental change.

Q: You cannot say that truth has no relationship to reality without playing with words, you can say there is no truth.

K: I am coming to that, sir. First I'll explain carefully - I cannot understand or explain or comprehend - the word 'comprehend' means hold totally the whole thing - what truth is. I don't know. It may not exist or it may exist - it may not be able... one may not be able to put it into words, or able to put it into words - unless I comprehend the totality of thought and its movement, I have no right to ask, what that is. So we must go back and understand the whole field of reality. That is our daily conversation for the next three weeks.

Is that enough? It's time, I think."

I wonder as I wander as yourself as Krishnamurti. Perhaps I am the lunatic collector armed with a butterfly net dodging the proverbial cars on a clockwork expressway, hoping to capture my nature in a bottle as if I possessed it in the first place....We all try as we must while resting in the arms of a verdant mother nature land. The forensic examination of the historical world has a parallel perhaps that to the measurement of the personal while seemingly the two struggle to cross communicate and when the noise subsides, one finds Rene Daumal ruminating on our skin of light and a certain inner void like an empty container in search of volume. Despair has it's place at the table as a remorse of conscience if only the historical world was afflicted with such an acknowledgement. If one is sincere, one also realizes time is counted as a lever set upon a fulcrum.

"The skin of light enveloping this world lacks depth and I can actually see the black night of all these
similar bodies beneath the trembling veil and light of myself it is this night that even the mask of the
sun cannot hide from me I am the seer of night the auditor of silence for silence too is dressed in
sonorous skin and each sense has its own night even as I do I am my own night I am the conceiver
of non-being and of all its splendor I am the father of death she is its mother she whom I evoke
from the perfect mirror of night i am the great inside-out man my words are a tunnel punched
through silence I understand all disillusionment I destroy what I become I kill what I love. "

I come back in reconstruction with puzzle pieces in hand recalling one of Ibn Al Arabi's "bezels" of essential poses. The poverty of existence as held in Nature whereas all is provided for without so much as a thank you required. Perhaps a borrowing with the indeterminate terms of a lease with no strings attached. We own nothing outside of the movement of thought as a search to determine a valuation that requires no verbiage. Encapsulating the impossible with qualifications on both sides of a mirror in an ecology yet to be determined.

Thought as an illusive flight over a forbidding landscape to reveal the essence of a moment. The movement of thought itself as a flight that roams freely above us in the heavens, as close to us as our jugular veins.